Highlights

• Tom Cruise reconciled with his dad after years of estrangement.
• Cruise felt anxiety due to his dad's absence and manipulative behavior.
• Despite the strained relationship, Cruise found fatherly inspiration in his stepdad.

The name Tom Cruise always rings a bell because it is associated with not only fame and success, but also with luxury and wealth, which is typical of most Hollywood stars. However, underneath these fleets of achievement lies a bitter experience. For some, it could be a mental health disorder, while for others, it could be bouts of failures before their success.

Tom Cruise had a rather unique challenge. His childhood wasn't only filled with abject poverty and struggles, it was also marred with a bitter feud that strained his relationship with his dad, whom he referred to as a "Merchant of Chaos". In this article, we'll take a look at whether Tom Cruise ever reconciled with his dad and how his parents' divorce affected him.

Did Tom Cruise Ever Reconcile With His “Merchant Of Chaos” Dad?

Irrespective of what had happened in the past between Tom Cruise and his dad, Thomas Mapother III, Tom Cruise admitted to having forgiven and reconciled with him in 1983 after four years of complete estrangement, while Thomas Mapother III was recovering from a cancer operation.

Cruise and his siblings got the message about their dad, who was in his forties then, recovering from a cancer operation, and they all rallied at his bedside. The visit to the hospital, according to Cruise, marked the beginning of their reconciliation. Upon their reconciliation, he noted that his dad, Thomas Mapother III, had made several mistakes that were taking a toll on him.

Cruise said he had held his dad's hand and told him about how much he loved him. His dad, Mapother, also responded by promising that when he leaves the hospital, they'd hang out and have a steak and beer while they talked about the past.

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Unfortunately, that never happened because Thomas Mapother III passed on the following year, and they never got to meet beyond the hospital walls.

Tom Cruise had earlier described his dad as a “Merchant of chaos”, one who is seemingly around, but his impact was never felt because he was not financially, physically and spiritually responsible. Cruise confessed that he always had anxiety and mistrust whenever he was around his dad. He said

For me, it was like, there’s something wrong with this guy. Don’t trust him. Be careful around him. There’s that anxiety.

This anxiety and trust issues went on to become an integral part of Cruise's life and career generally, as he found it difficult to trust people based on the experience he had with his dad.

Some Personal Facts About Tom Cruise

• He was born in 1962
• He has three sisters
• His father died in 1984
• His mother died in 2017

In an interview with Parade, Tom Cruise again referred to his dad as “a bully and a coward” who was also alleged to be an abusive alcoholic. According to Tom Cruise, his dad was not only physically abusive but also highly manipulative.

Tom Cruise's already deteriorating relationship with his dad was further strained in 1974, when his mom decided to leave his dad. This subsequently led to his parent's divorce, which automatically gave his mother, Mary Lee, full custody of the children. Cruise was just 11 at that time.

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Cruise's dad admitted that the rift between them was fueled by the messy divorce that had rocked their family in its early days when Cruise and his sisters were still kids.

At a press conversation about his father in 1992, Tom Cruise spoke in a reconciliatory tone when he made a statement admonishing people to forgive those who have offended them, irrespective of the offense, and to take responsibility for their lives because it makes forgiveness easier. The statement had its bearing on what had transpired between him and his father.

How Tom Cruise Was Deeply Affected By His Parents’ Messy Divorce

Following his parents’ divorce, Tom Cruise had to take on so many roles and responsibilities to assist his mom, Mary Lee, with running the home front. At the age of 8, Cruise started delivering cards and newspapers to earn stipends to support the family's finances and cater to his basic needs.

According to Cruise, there was always a feeling of accomplishment and independence that came along with the responsibility he had to shoulder as a child.

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Before his parents divorced, Tom Cruise’s academics were also affected because his family was always relocating to a new city. He attended 15 schools in 14 years and faced lots of bullying for always being the new kid in town. This led to Cruise suffering from dyslexia, which had him placed in a remedial class.

Tom Cruise equally didn't have experience of what a healthy father-child relationship was with his dad. He attributed all he knew about fatherhood to his Stepdad John South, whom he never liked initially. He revealed:

In the beginning, I felt threatened by my stepfather. There’s a part of you that’s in love with your mother. But John is such a wise, smart man. He loved my mother so much that he took us all in, four young people.

South gave Tom Cruise a new perspective on life and fatherhood, and although the toxic memory of his father lingered, John South became his new and biggest inspiration.

Cruise mentioned that Mapother was a person who did not have a huge influence on his life as a teen; even though his position as a father was important, the relationship they had was a complex one, and the values and motivation he has today all came from his stepfather. John South went on to be an integral part of Cruise's career by lending him some money to pursue his acting dream in New York City.

Though Tom Cruise's relationship with his dad, Thomas Mapother III, was strained from the beginning, he didn't let that affect his reconciliation with him at a very crucial time in his life.

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